Cunt gerbil, or CG as he’s known about Newark, is the loud mouthed, malcontent bastard we all love to hate. Or just hate, no love involved.

Cunt Gerbil was born in a pet shop somewhere in New Jersey, and left home at an early age. He grifted his way into Newark, and started taking up residence in various asses. His first “apartment” was that of Newark’s very own Bulgy Tom.

He lived in Bulgy Tom for several years, before “out growing” the space, and moving to roomier digs. His new home happened to be the inner workings of celebrity Jennifer Lopez, who ended up trapping him inside there, where he fed off of the rancid semen of her many lovers, and her gelatinous menses.

Cunt Gerbil escaped when God put a death mark on Ms. Lopez, and she was assisnated by Sanchez the Sausage (by way of C4 in her vaginal canal). He’s been very good friends with Sanchez ever since. Shortly afer that point, around 1998, he moved in with Gnome, and abused his welcome until he was put out on his ear in 2007.

CG has a penchant for fast talk, coercion, extortion, grift, graft, blackmail, check kiting, and all other gross misdemeanors and lesser felonies. His favorite hobby is soliciting prostitutes to fight to the death in Newark’s favorite sport, Thursday Night Hooker Fight. He bets against his fighters just as much as he bets for them.

He is exceptionally abusive to those around him, especially Gnome and women. This is typical of him, and most don’t take it personally. He gets along swimmingly with other abusers such as Jorge the Jackelope, Sanchez and Polar Bear Step Dad. His attitude is overthrown, on the other hand, by the personalities of Bulgy Tom and Carl the Gimp, and very recently, the reclusive but gregarious Gnome.

It was uncovered recently that Mr. Christ (aka Jesus Christ of Nazereth and Ocean City) had put a hit out on CG, which was picked up by Newarks most notorious mercenary, Archer Cat. Archer Cat was thwarted with a rolled up newspaper by Maria the Hooker, and was sent packing off to the pen.