Gary Gnombiowski, or Gnome, was considered until very recently, the biggest scapegoat in Newark. He is, especially in comparison to those he associates with, very polite and respectful. He is also mute.

Gnome is one of the few amongst his compatriates that manages to hold down a job (which he hates), acting as line man in the local Lawn Ornament union (LOAIF 127). He typically works near a gazing globe in a suburb of Newark, and usually in close proximity to Gerry (a fiberglass flamingo).

Recently, Gnome grew fed up with being everyone’s doormat, and sought out the help of local guru, Mai Pei the Raccoon of Infinite Wisdom. Unfortunately, after taking fifty of Gnome’s hard earned dollars, Mai Pei only led him to an underground cavern and tossed him over a rope bridge.

Fortunately for Gnome, he was rescued by Mai Pei’s incredibly honest building superintendant, Rob (also, Newark’s only giant, burrowing, alien millipede), and was introduced to Rob’s bi-species, high-school age daughter, Cheryl.

Cheryl, at first thinking Gnome to be some kind of house pet, forced her father to let Gnome sleep in her room. After talking to (or more at) Gnome for quite some time, she realized how sweet and courteous he was, and fell in love with him instantly, making passionate love to him until they fell to sleep. Gnome, feeling invigorated and liberated, took it upon himself to assert himself a bit more.

Rob gave Gnome a ride to the surface of Newark, where Gnome went on a violent rampage; reliving Mai Pei of the fifty dollars he originally took from Gnome, then kicking his no good roomate, Cunt Gerbil, out on his shaggy ear.

After a several months of a healthy, sweet (and ragingly horny) relationship, Cheryl moves in with Gnome, with the shocking news that she’s pregnant. At first mind breaking, Gnome and Cheryl cement their relationship by promising to marry when Cheryl turns eighteen and graduates high-school.

Gnome is known for his problematic drinking habit, brought on by his depression in regards to his treatment by others. Rather then fight back, he would take up the bottle. Even though his life seems to be looking up, Gnome doesn’t seem to have curtailed his drinking habits.